11.15.23
“How freeing it is that when God asks us to be courageous, it doesn’t mean being fearless. It means being honest and open about our fears but still doing it, because the thing we are choosing to do is bigger than the fear.”
Ever since we were pointed to this verse at the fairgrounds this past summer, this verse has been a wonderful prayer and promise for me to cling to. Waiting is something I am slowly learning to see as a gift instead of a burden. God has been showing me that waiting is a gift of rest from Him as my loving Father. He has been telling me that waiting is not the contradicting definition that I have come up with through difficult experiences. Waiting is not a withholding plan, a disappointment-driven fear tactic, or a “dance monkey” hustle.I find it ironic that waiting is the action of “not acting”. My conversations with our Abba about the big and small ways He has been inviting me to wait on Him have looked something like this:Me: “But what should I do?! You can’t possibly just want me to sit here and do nothing; to sit here and wait. Can you? What if I miss doing what I’m supposed to do while I’m just sitting here waiting?”Holy Spirit’s still small voice: “Oh my daughter, all I want you to do is wait on me. Rest in me. Be still with me. Enjoy me. Abide in me. Trust me.”Me: “I want to Lord, I do. But I can’t. I am trying, I’ve been trying and I’m failing. I am not strong enough, not good enough, not faithful enough, not trusting enough.”Holy Spirit, pulling me close in a big hug: “I know my darling and it’s ok. That’s why I strengthen your heart, not you. That’s why I did it for you through Jesus and keep doing it for you over and over again.”And this is when I get to be like the little girl Lucy in wonderful Chronicles of Narnia book, “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”. Scared and vulnerable in the dark, asking and allowing Aslan to help and strengthen her, Aslan tells her, “Take courage dear heart”.How freeing it is that when God asks us to be courageous, it doesn’t mean being fearless. It means being honest and open about our fears but still doing it, because the thing we are choosing to do is bigger than the fear. I’m fearful of waiting on Him, and I’m going to be open about this to Him while choosing to wait on Him over and over again. He is bigger, and He is the One who strengthens me over and over again.Holy Spirit lead us as your church to wait on you together, in all of the small and big ways you are calling us to!"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart. Wait on the Lord” Psalm 27:14Nicole Topits